Him
by simplymaterial
Summary: My take on 6x17 "In The Belly Of The Beast". She falters, a sob leaving her as she walks to him. She can't run, she's too numb. But he's close to her in seconds. His arms come around her, their bodies connecting rather harshly and it hurts, but she doesn't care. Her arms link behind him, her hands clawing at his shoulder, clinging to him as she lets the tears fall. (Slightly AU).
1. Chapter 1

_**So this is my take on what happened between the woods and being at the precinct. It's also AU, some things I wrote differently than how it went on in the show (even though I couldn't not use Kate's speech at the precinct omg).**_

_**Rating: T.**_  
_**Disclaimer: Nope.**_

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**You were with me the whole time: Chapter I**

"Lazarus."

It's still echoing in her mind, as she watches Elena walk away from her, disappear in the woods. She's still on her knees, hands still tightly bound together on her back. _Lazarus_. He wanted her to stay alive? _He said he owed you_. Her mind is reeling. There's only one person that once said he owed her. It means that Vulcan Simmons is not him. There's only one man she can think of and it makes her shudder.

But she has to stop thinking about that now. She has to think about how the hell she's going to get out of here. It's cold, dark, and she doesn't know how far they walked into these woods. How will she find her way back? To him.

_Him._

It's like a flame has started within her body. A flame that grounds her, strengthens her, that gives her the willpower. To push through. Because of him. She has to get back to him. But how? She doesn't have her phone, her hands aren't really free to do anything, how-

Her eyes fall upon the dead body that's on the ground before her. The thought is cringe worthy, but she has to try. Dragging her knees forward, she scoots closer. Maybe he'll have a phone, or something that can help her untie her hands. Her eyes fall upon a blade, it's in his jeans pocket. Carefully watching what she's doing, she turns around, her hands reaching out for it.

After a few seconds, the tips of her fingers finally find cold steel and she grabs it, pulling it out. She turns it around in her hands, trying to find the right angle so she can free herself. After a few tries, she finally manages to get through the rope, her hands being freed from each other. She releases a breath she was apparently holding, examines her hands, carefully rotating them because they've been in the same position for too long.

She turns around, back to him, and searches his body. He has to have a phone somewhere, he wouldn't go out into the woods without something to contact 'Lazarus' to say it was done. She searches his body, and finally finds it in his back pocket. Enough battery, thank god. She taps for an emergency call and dials the Precinct, knowing they're probably looking for her.

It rings once, twice, three times – "Detective Ryan?"

"Ryan!" Kate releases on a breath, her voice cracking.

"Beckett? Guys, guys it's Beckett! Where are you?" He asks as she hears a lot of noise in the background of people running around, probably getting ready to get to her.

"I'm- I'm in the woods. I'm not sure, it's so dark, I can't-"

"Walk around, tell me what you see?" Ryan says calmly, and it helps her.

So she stands up and walks, tries to remember where they came from and following that path back. She walks and walks, tries to find a hint of a road that she can get on. She goes up the hill she fell off just before.

She stays on the phone, hearing Ryan breathe as people are still running around in the precinct. "Kate?!" She hears then, in the background. She stops walking, her body freezing at the sound of his voice. _His_ voice. "Is that her?" He asks on the background and Ryan replies with confirmation.

She releases a breath, as she hears his voice loud and clear now.

"Oh my god, Kate, where are you? Are you okay?"

She wants to smile. It hurts her face, but she doesn't care. The flame erupts in her, warming her from the inside at hearing his voice. She's going to be okay. She's safe. _He_ is her definition of safe.

"I'm- I'm okay, Castle." She lies. Because actually, she's not. Things have become even more complicated with 'Lazarus', and she's hurt. Her knees hurt, her hands hurt, she still feels the cold water on her face, the wounds hurting her, her pulse pounding in the scrape on her forehead, giving her a headache. But she can't think of that now, no, she has to get back. So she finds the strength and remains walking.

"No you're not." Castle states and Kate huffs out a breath. Of course he knows.

"I will be." Kate replies, walking further and further until she sees a glimpse of road.

"Where are you?" He asks again, so much worry in his voice. She needs to see him. Needs to tell him she's alive. Needs to feel his strong warm arms around her.

And she will. So she starts to walk faster, to the road. "Hold on, I found a road." She finally reaches the end of the woods. And she's lucky. She finds a road map on display, stating exactly where she is. She gives him the information and he repeats it, passing it on to Ryan.

"We'll be right there, Kate." Castle reassures her, and she smiles.

"Stay with me on the phone?" She asks, hearing his voice is what she needs right now. She feels she might break if she's alone with her thoughts.

"I'm here." Castle says, his breathing speeding up as she hears him walking. Then she hears a car door slam, engine powering up and it gives her a sense of relief.

They're going to be here soon.

* * *

"Almost there, Kate." Castle says, relief washing over his voice, but the worry still there.

She hears the sirens then, sees them flashing in the distance and she releases another breath, relief washing over her, her body becoming numb as she let's go of the willpower that got her through this. They're here. He's here.

The cars reach her, and she stands up, phone still in her hands but not at her ear anymore. Car doors open and people step outside and her eyes search. For him. She needs _him_. Doesn't care about anyone else. To the left, she sees a silhouette moving rather fast, and then she hears him. "Kate!"

She falters, a sob leaving her as she walks to him. She can't run, she's too numb. But he's close to her in seconds. His arms come around her, their bodies connecting rather harshly and it hurts, but she doesn't care. Her arms link behind him, her hands clawing at his shoulder, clinging to him as she lets the tears fall. She holds onto him like a lifeline, her face buried against his throat.

"You're okay. I'm so glad you're okay." Castle breathes, stroking her back, her hair, holding onto her as he feels her tears against his throat.

Esposito and Ryan walk to them, looking at Castle with worry and he nods in reassurance. They nod back, knowing that she's going to be okay. They leave them again, giving them time. They continue to stand there for a while. After a short while, Kate's tears have subdued, her breathing coming back to normal and he eventually pulls back.

His hands immediately find her face, and their eyes connect. The moment he sees her face, his features grow worried.

"God, Kate, what did they do to you?" He asks, his right hand very lightly brushing over her bruises. It all looks so painful and, damn it he should've been careful when he approached her, probably hurt her when he enveloped her in that hug. Her eyes are glassy from tears, and he brushes his thumbs under her eyelids to wipe away the moisture that's still there.

She shivers when a wave of wind hits her body "Can we go, Castle? Please?" She asks, indirectly telling him they'll talk about it later.

"Of course." He says, pulling off his jacket and putting it around her. She pulls it around her tighter, the warmth of it making her feel just a bit better. They walk to the car together, and as they sit inside, Castle carefully puts his arm around her, and she buries herself against his side. His strong warm arms and his warm body, it's exactly what she needed. The car moves then, one of the assisting officers driving them back to the precinct.

"I was dunked." She reveals after a few minutes of silence. She feels him drag in a breath, knows that with his vivid imagination this is not something he likes to hear. Then his breath starts to quicken, and she thinks – knows – he's gotten mad.

"Stop, Castle, no." She says as she pulls back, their eyes connecting, and she was right, he looks mad. Extremely mad. Her right hand raises up to his face, her fingers brushing his right brow, trailing down to his cheek. "It's okay. It's done. I'm here."

"But what if-"

"No what if's." Kate shakes her head at him. "I'm here. I'm alive."

His breathing starts to slow at that, and he reaches out for her, his arms coming around her as he envelops her in a hug, his right hand cupping the back of her head. "I was so worried." He whispers into her hair.

"I know." She reassures him "But I'm back."

"What happened?" He asks again, knows there's more to this story. They break apart, and Kate looks down, her hand reaching out for him. She laces their fingers together, needs to hold him.

"Elena was a contract killer. I tried to play along as best as I could. I told them I wanted to meet this Lazarus, and at first it didn't look like it would work out. But eventually, he agreed to meet with me. It was all so intense. I eventually met with him and he.." Her breath hitches "It was Vulcan Simmons."

Castle's eyes look up in shock. "Vulcan Simmons? You mean-"

"Yes. And he recognized me. He wanted to know everything that the NYPD knew about him. In the process, he dunked me." She shivers at the thought, instantly feeling that ice cold water again. "I didn't give anything to him. It got to a point where.. where I could barely breathe. So he ordered one of his men to take me out into the woods and kill me there."

Castle's hand squeezes hers. He wants to hug her. He wants to put his arms around her, for eternity, keep her safe at all times. To be with her 24/7, never leave her sight again. This shouldn't have happened. This wasn't supposed to happen. They had a day off? But he knows she has more to say so he refrains from doing anything, let's her talk it out first.

"Once there, before he killed me, Elena showed up and killed him. That's how I survived." She states, still not believing it herself. "I asked her why, and she told me that, he owed me. That 'Lazarus' owed me."

"But then Vulcan Simmons couldn't have been-"

"Exactly." Kate interrupts him "And there's only one person I know that once said I owed him.."

She waits him out. Knows that it'll get to him, that he'll remember. She told him the night after the incident, what he said to her. She sees it then, realization hitting him.

"Kate-"

Before she can reply, his arms are around her, his body pressed against her as he holds her. She closes her eyes, relishes in having him here, his warmth surrounding her. Inhaling his familiar scent, she holds onto him as his body warmth soaks through her skin. She's exhausted. So tired.

They arrive at the precinct then, the car coming to a halt. Castle pushes back, holds her face in his hands and leans in, carefully brushing his lips against her, not wanting to hurt her. But he's too careful, he feels Kate's hand coming around his head and push him more firmly against her.

It warms her. This kiss. His lips are on hers, and it sends this warmth through her veins. She holds him there as long as she can. Eventually, she lets go, but not before coming in for another peck, brushing her lips to his one more time. Their foreheads connect then, a sigh leaving her lips.

"We should go inside." Castle states, and she nods against him. They both step out of the car, a chill running through her as her body connects with the wind. She grabs the sides of his jacket that's still on her, pulling it more tightly around her as they walk inside the precinct.

Captain Gates and Captain Fowler are waiting for her, and they sit down together. They talk about Vulcan Simmons, eventually stating they have nothing against him. Kate reveals what she saw about Future Forward, and Gates and Fowler step out to work on that new lead.

Castle leaves the seat next to her and sits down on the one right in front of her.

"See what happens when I leave you alone?"

"Babe, I wasn't alone." Kate replies. "When they were interrogating me, the only thing that kept me going was thinking about you. About our future. The wedding. You were with me the whole time."

A loving smile crosses his features as he hears her words, and as her hand cups his left cheek he leans in for a kiss. As they part, her fingers gently brush his jaw and she lets go, her hand coming to rest on his, his hand cupping and holding hers on his lap.

"Take me home?" She suggest then, and he stands up, hands still clasped together as they walk out the precinct. It's what she needs most right now. Home.

Him.

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_**To be continued.  
Reviews are greatly appreciated!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**So this is my take on them getting home, of course there's some reference to the last scene on the show, and my take on how it could have gone on after that. Thank you to all who have reviewed the first chapter. It means a lot to me, gives me the motivation to continue! Enjoy this one :)**_

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**You were with me the whole time: Part II  
**  
He turns the lock, opening the door and they both step inside his loft. It's late, but both are still too charged (but exhausted at the same time) to go to bed. As he looks at her, he notices that she's cold, her body language betraying her as she visibly shivers. "Hold on." He says as he walks into his bedroom, retrieving a fur blanket he once got from his mother – still wondering whether it was for him or for her.

He finds her standing in the kitchen and reaches it out for her "Here." She mumbles her thanks, pulling it tightly around her, still shivering.

He hesitates for one second before he pulls her to him, wrapping his arms around her, his hand moving up and down her back, trying to warm her up in at least some way. She sighs against his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Kate." He sighs.

Kate's brows furrow "For what?" She's confused to why he would apologize?

"This happening to you. Everything. It's all because of my stupid nosiness." He releases a frustrated sigh. Frustrated with himself. He put her in so much danger since they met, and he's utterly frustrated with himself because of that.

"No." Kate breathes, pushing away from him so she can look him in the eyes. "No, Castle. Please don't blame yourself."

"But if I hadn't-"

"If you hadn't.." She lays her hand on his chest in interruption "This would have happened too. It would have. One day. You've helped me _so _much, Castle. I've found my mom's killer because of you. How could you have known this would all lead to something so big?"

"I know, but-"

"Stop. Blaming. Yourself." Kate reassures him, individually pronouncing every word. "Don't do this to yourself."

He sighs, pulling her in for another hug and he feels her shiver against him. Then a thought occurs to him. "How about we go and sit in front of the fireplace."

Kate smiles at that "I'd really like that." She breathes as they pull apart. She watches him as he goes about starting the fireplace, the flames erupting like magic, making a nice, cozy fire. He grabs some pillows and lays them down on the rug that's in front of the fireplace, something for them to sit on.

"Go sit down. I'll get us some wine."

Oh, wine. Yes that's a good idea. She nods and walks to the fireplace, the heat radiating from it warming her skin, but not yet warming her whole being. She sits down, carefully because of her knees still hurting, and waits for him, watches the flames dance, her mind replaying everything that happened this day. The thought occurs to her that he doesn't know about the letter yet. She should tell him. He has to know. She's actually glad she gets to tell him this in person, and he doesn't have to find out through a letter.

"Here." He says, announcing his presence and she looks up, smiling as she takes the glass from him. He sits down on the opposite side of her, his eyes looking her over, trying to see if she's okay.

She takes a sip of her wine, then puts it down and reaches for his hand. He does the same, putting his glass down and his other hand comes to cover their already clasped hands on her lap. He scoots as close to her as possible, leaning in for a kiss.

The moment their lips connect, Kate feels a warmth spread through her body. It starts at her lips, rushes down her spine, her chest, her arms. Her unoccupied hand raises up to cup his cheek, brushing back to his neck as her fingers find the hairs at the nape of it. She releases a small moan as she enjoys the feeling of him. It replaces everything. The awful thoughts in her mind. The dark. The cold. It's all replaced by him. Just him.

She breaks their connection, but not before coming in for another brush of her lips to his. Once. Twice. She leans forward to connect her forehead to his, smiling as her body is tingling from the kiss, a warmth partly replacing the cold.

"I wrote you a letter." She confesses on a sigh.

He leans back, wanting to see her eyes. He's confused, yet intrigued and she notices it. It's set on his features. So she continues.

"When I was there, I was brought to a room where I had to wait. I didn't know what was going to happen to me, I didn't know- all things were possible, even the worst and I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you behind without you knowing. Knowing how I feel about you."

Her fingers reach up to his lips, her eyes following them and she smiles.

"You are so amazing, Rick." She sighs lovingly.

He smiles at that, gently kissing her fingertips that are still rested against his lips.

"And I wrote that our partnership, our relationship, is _the_ greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I love you, Castle. With all of my heart. I always will. Always." She finishes on a whisper.

He doesn't know what to say. He's actually searching for words, some way to reply to this. But he can't. He can't. Even saying I love you doesn't begin to explain the feelings he has for her. So he reclaims her lips, sweet and gently, his arms coming around her back to hold her to him. Her right hand cups his cheek as she responds to the kiss in kind. She loves this man so much. They have so much history. Such a connection. And that is it. It's all she needs in life. All she wants. Him.

* * *

She's sitting at the piano, blanket tightly around her as she watches him on the laptop screen. This bastard. This, this genius. He's a genius, and it infuriates her. He's too good at this. She wants so much to just get this over with, but it seems to get harder by the minute. The more she finds out, the more untouchable he gets.

Castle comes over to her, sitting down next to her and she explains to him how genius is actions are. They talk about the reminder that he said he owed her, and it sends a chill down her spine. Because now, they're tied.

"So the next time that we see each other.." She states, letting the rest be told with silence, because what will happen? She doesn't even want to think about it. _One of us will die. _She feels Castle standing up, walking to her other side, dropping a kiss on her head in reassurance, to which she smiles, though it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Come to bed." He says, his hand reaching out for her. And she hesitates – hesitates for just a second. Between this man on her screen, the man responsible for everything, the man she so badly wants to take down. And the man standing beside her, the man who is her life, her safe haven, her home. She curses herself for even hesitating, and she lays her hand in his, flashing him a smile. Because when it comes to him, there is no choosing. There is no hesitation, there _shouldn't_ be any hesitation.

So she leaves the man on the screen, her thoughts of him left behind with that laptop. Because right now, her hand is clasped into the hand of the man she loves. And all she wants is to curl up to him, seek his warmth, love him. That's all she needs. Love. Him.

They walk into his bedroom. Her eyes immediately find their seashells on the wall. It elicits a smile, a perfect reminder of that day. She reminds herself they should go there again soon. So much peace. Right now she wants to leave everything behind and just go there, with him. Just the two of them, the beautiful ocean and the warm, burning sun.

She feels his lips on her hair, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looks at him, the love that's beaming from his eyes washing over her, warming her as she smiles back at him. Before they reach the bed, a thought occurs to her, something she needs.

"I need a shower." She whispers. She feels dirty, feels like she needs to wash away this awful day.

"I'll get you some tea for after." Castle says, smiling at her as she walks to the bathroom. She'd expect him to make a joke about joining her, yet she isn't surprised he didn't, because he knows she doesn't need that right now.

She gets rid of her clothes, throwing them on a pile, and turns on the shower, the spray cold at first but after a few seconds turned into warm. Hot. She needs hot. So she sets the temperature higher, steps under the spray, a sigh leaving her lips as the warm water trickles down her body, slowly but surely warming her up.

Her arms cross against her stomach, her hands holding on to her opposite sides. She could have died today. Died. She actually thought she would. Her eyes start to water and a tear escapes, trailing down her cheek. If Elena hadn't showed up- No. No, she can't think about this. She's alive. _Alive_. She's okay. And that's what matters. She just told Castle not to think about what if's, and here she is doing it to herself. She shakes her head. No. She has to let it go.

She washes her hair and her body, finding a couple of bruises on her knees, her elbows – probably from the fall down the hill – and her wrists, the rope barely yet still visible on her skin. Finishing up her shower duties she turns it off, getting a towel to dry herself off. She changes into her silk pajamas, sighing as the silk brushes against her body, soft and gentle. Now all she wants is to be in bed, curled up. To him.

Opening the door, she finds the bedroom filled with candles, making it look cozy and lovely. She sees a cup of tea standing on the nightstand at 'her' side, waves of hot smoke erupting from it. He's sitting on the bed, his back to her.

"Hi." She whispers, announcing her presence and he turns around.

"Hey beautiful."

She scoffs, walks to her side of the bed, grabs the sheets and lifts them, sliding under them. He chuckles at her reaction, does the same on the opposite side. As soon as they're both lying down, his hand brushes against her side, landing on her back and he pulls her to him. She raises her leg, laying it over his thighs, hooking her foot at his calves. Her hand brushes down his side, to his back until her arm is hooked around his back, her body enveloped in his. Tangled together, bodies connected. Her head rests against his chest, a sigh escaping her lips.

"Hmm, you're warm." He sighs, her lips quirking up into a smile as she feels his heart beating against her ear.

"Hmm you are too." She replies, looking up, their eyes connecting, the candles flickering around them. She _needs_ him. She leans in, slowly brushing her lips against his, scooting closer. As close as she can possibly get. Her right hand leaves his back and raises to his head, cupping the right side as she opens her mouth, her tongue brushing against his lower lip, waiting for him to respond.

And he does, his mouth opens, inviting her in. His left hand raises to her hair, tangling his fingers in them as he responds to her kiss. Comfort. She needs comfort. The kiss slowly heats up, yet he knows she needs slow. Comforting. His hand brushes down, against her side and a moan is released into his mouth.

Her hand moves down, brushing against his jaw, his neck, down to his chest, down his side, against his back and it reaches the edge of his pajama shorts.

His lips part from hers "Kate-"

"Rick-" She replies in interruption "I need you."

His hand raises up again, brushes against the scratch on her forehead, against her left brow, down to her cheek, to her lips, his eyes following his own movements. Once his fingers reach her lips and settle there, his eyes go up, connecting with hers. He wants to ask if she's sure. But her eyes. It's in there. Love. So much love. For him. Her eyes are asking him- asking him to love her. To comfort her. He finds himself staring. Staring into those beautiful hazel eyes, candlelight flickering against them. He loves her so much. He could've lost her today. But he didn't. She's here. And he's so grateful for it. She got through it, and he can't help but admire her. Her strength. She's become such a part of him. He can't live without her. Not anymore.

She smiles. He's been looking at her for quite some time now, and she knows he's lost in thought. But she waits him out, looks back at him, into his beautiful eyes. Gets lost in them herself. This amazing man that she loves so much. He's her home. A part of her. A part of her life. Her best friend. Her partner. It warms her up from the inside. Today was awful, but in the end, she's home. With him. And he's all she needs. Whether she's happy, sad, scared, angry. She needs _him_. And she _needs _him. Needs to be enveloped in him. Needs to forget about the awful day that happened to her. He can do that for her. She needs to be in his arms, needs to feel his body against hers. Warmth. She needs warmth.

And so she initiates, leaning in again, her lips claiming his, her tongue seeking out to find him. He responds to her, their mouths settling into a rhythm. Brushing. Stroking. Loving. Her heart starts to race, beating louder and louder. Their kiss heats up, eliciting a fire inside her. It erupts, rushes through her veins and spreads like wildfire, warming her on the inside. Finally. Warmth, so much warmth. All thoughts have ceased of the awful, the cold. Only one warm thought remains.

Him.

* * *

_**There you go! These two ruin my life, even writing this made me all feelsy. I'm thinking of doing an M-rated chapter that comes after this, would you guys like me to do that? I have another chapter in mind for this story, probably the last (unless I have more inspiration, of course).**_

**_If the M-rated chapter works out, I'll upload that separately, so this will remain T. I'll make sure to give notice (or just look out for it on my page, of course)._**

**_Reviews inspire! :)_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**You can find the M-rated chapter on my page! It's called Him: Need. So read that if you want.**_

_**I really want to thank DX2012 and Emma for their reviews (as a guest so I couldn't reply to you). Your reviews were amazing to read. I don't consider myself a very good writer and to have you say that to me, it was a real confidence boost. Haha and well, here you have your next chapter! – Really though, all of the reviews I've gotten for this story so far have been so amazing. I loved each and every one, thank you so much, all of you. Not to mention the amount of follows, that's really great!**_

_**And so the story continues! Enjoy this one.**_

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**You were with me the whole time: Part III**

Breathe. _Breathe_. She's trying to breathe. It's cold, so cold. Her head connects with the water, that cold, _freezing_ water. A voice tells her again and again. _Tell me what I want to know_. She's trying to survive this. She _has_ to survive.

Her head is being pulled out of the water for the 3rd time. Or was it 4th? But she has to breathe. In. In and out. Two times. But then she's being pushed down again, the cold water framing her face yet again. Can't breathe. Can't. It's starting to hurt, her face freezing, a bruise forming on her forehead from her head connecting harshly with ice cubes. It hurts.

She's being pulled back again. The first thing she can do is try to breathe. Her lungs hurt. Everything hurts. How does she breathe. She has to breathe. Yet again, her face connects with the water, and she tries to hold on. Tries to get released from this grasp, thrashing, moving.

"Kate!" She hears. _His voice_. She's holding on, for him. Yes. She has to get back to him. So she finds the strength, moves against the grip harshly, moving from side to side. _Let me go._

"Kate, baby, wake up!"

She's being pulled out of the water and- her eyes open. Her chest is heaving. Her arms are being held, hands firmly, yet gently grasping them. She feels softness behind her – she's in bed. In bed. _His _bed. Her eyes find him, opened in shock. He's the one that's holding her arms. She looks around, tries to find her bearings. She's not in the water. She's in bed. She's safe. She can breathe. She's with him. Her heart is beating so loud she can feel it in her ears.

"Kate-" He breathes, relief laced across his voice, in his eyes.

She's shocked. She can't- she has to breathe.

In and out.

And in.

And out.

"You're okay. Kate, you're okay." He soothes her, his hands letting go of her arms. She tries to remember. Oh god, it was a nightmare. A memory. She must have been thrashing, and in the process of it all he had to hold her arms down to stop her. Oh god.

"Castle-" She breathes. She can breathe. She goes to him, her arms pulling him to her, she has to feel him. Hold him. Tears are forming in her eyes, eyes still opened in shock as she holds onto him. She's okay. It was a nightmare. She's home. She's in bed. With him. She's okay.

"It was just a nightmare." He sighs into her hair, kissing her shoulder, holding her.

Her eyes close as the warmth of his body seeps through her, calming her. A tear rolls down her cheek as her breathing finally starts to get back to normal. Her heartbeat starts to settle down, the shock evaporating from her body – calm washing over her as she feels his body heat, his warmth spreading through her skin. Her lips quirk up into a little smile as she enjoys his body against hers. She's safe. He's here.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Castle eventually asks, breaking the silence.

She pulls away from him, their eyes connecting, his hand going up to wipe the tear trail away from her cheek. She sighs "I was back there. Being dunked again. God, it felt so real."

He wants to say he's sorry. He wants to breathe a poem of words into her hair. He wants to soothe her, make her feel better. He wants so much to take it all away. But he knows he can't- she has to deal with this on her own. But he'll be there. Right beside her. He'll be her partner. Her rock.

"I'm so glad you're here with me." She admits on a breath, her arms coming around him as she envelops him in another hug, her chin resting on his shoulder as her eyes close.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else, Kate. I'll always be here." He brushes her hair with his fingers, his hand going down to her back, holding her against him, as close as possible.

She smiles at that, the reassurance pushing away the thought of her nightmare. She's here. She's in bed, and he's with her. He's here, always ready to catch her when she falls.

"I love you." She sighs, pulling back to look at him.

"I love you too." He smiles at her. Even though they've said it to each other many times now, his heart still skips a beat whenever she's the one to say it first. They've come so far. Learned so much from each other. He leans in, sees her eyes closing, awaiting him as his lips press firmly against her.

He pulls her even closer, eliciting a moan from her as their bodies fully connect. The kiss stays gentle, loving. Because all she needs right now is to just feel him. To know that _this _is not a dream. This is real. That she's in his arms, their bodies connected, their lips brushing. The thought alights a fire within her, warmth spreading through her veins. _This is real_.

Their lips eventually part, a content sigh leaving both of them as their foreheads connect. They smile, listening to their own heartbeats.

"Think you can sleep again?" Castle asks after a while, Kate nodding against him in confirmation.

She scoots down, entangles herself with him, her head on his chest, her arm spreading over it, her hand resting on his heart. Her legs tangle with his, making for a tangled mess of limbs.

"Tell me a story." Kate suggests out of the blue, releasing a sigh after she's found her place against him. She's tired. Exhausted even. But she's too wired to fall asleep just yet. Whenever she felt like this, she would grab one of his books and read until her eyes started drooping. But since she's been with him, that changed. Because she doesn't use one of his books. No. She uses his voice. And it has never once before failed her, always soothed her back into a sleep.

Castle releases a breath "Hmm. Well… Once upon a time, there was this writer. A very good looking one, I might add." Kate slaps his chest at that. "He had a wonderful life, he was wealthy because of his bestselling books, had a graceful, caring mother and a loving, very responsible daughter. His life seemed wonderful, yes, on the outside it definitely did. But on the inside- he was bored. He was bored of his stories, bored of those book signings, the same routine over and over. He just killed off his main character, see. Because he needed something else. Something new. And that something new is exactly what he found."

Kate smiles, her eyes closing at his soothing voice as he continues on.

"_She_, is what he found. A gorgeous, tall, savvy cop that stepped up to him at one of his book signings, flashing her badge in front of him. Once he found himself in an interrogation room with her, he became fascinated. Because she was different. She was _interesting_. And he wanted to explore, his boredom replacing with a sense of intrigue. He arranged to shadow her on her cases – and let me tell you, she was not pleased. She became the new character for his books. But never did he imagine that shadowing this amazing woman would change his whole life. She turned his life upside down. They went through so many things. They had fun, they fought, they laughed, they saved each other's lives and eventually- they fell in love. They – or rather she – didn't want to admit her feelings at first. She had these walls that she built up because of an incident that happened in her life. But no worries, he tore them down."

Kate sighs, her eyes opening and connecting with his. They smile at each other, then Castle continues.

"They eventually found their way to each other. Had this amazing first night that he will never ever forget. He's still fascinated by her. After all these years, every single day he's still amazed by her character. Amazed by the depths of her strength, her courage. Amazed by how, every day, she becomes more and more beautiful, both inside and out. He asked her to marry him, and she said yes. And every day, every single day, he still feels incredibly blessed, to have this amazing woman in his life. This amazing woman that now shares things with him, and loves him. And he feels so happy, because he wants absolutely nothing more than to spend the rest of this life with her. And he'll make sure to remind her that he loves her so _deeply_, and that he'll make sure to show that to her for the rest of their lives. Always."

She's drifting now. His body warmth soothes her, lulls her back to sleep as her eyes slowly close, hearing him whisper against her hair just before she falls asleep.

_"I love you so much, Kate."_

* * *

She wakes, her eyes opening to light. Her eyes squint, needing time to adjust to the brightness. As she wakes to her surroundings, she smiles, remembering the dream she had just before she woke up. Her and Castle in the Hamptons – enjoying the sun, the calm, each other. They really have to go there again soon. She smiles at the thought. The next thing she searches for is the time. It's 7:30. Oh right – Gates ordered her to relax today. No work. And for some reason, it reliefs her. She really does need a day off. A day to just relax. A day to be herself. A day to be with him.

Speak of the devil – she looks next to her. He's not there. Where would he-

"Good morning, sunshine." Castle announces, walking into the bedroom and she smiles at the sight of him. Butterflies erupt in her stomach just from seeing him – why is she getting so sappy?

"Hey, morning." She sighs, stretching as he walks to her with a cup of coffee. Of course, he was making coffee. What else. She sits up and accepts the warm cup, warmth spreading through her fingertips from the cup – or was it because her fingers brushed against his when she took it from him. _Sappy_.

He smiles at her, that loving smile that makes her cheeks turn a shade of red. And of course it makes his smile only grow wider – he's said before that he just loves it when she blushes. So she tries to look away, changing the subject.

"Thank you for last night." Great – great change of subject, because now her body is warming from the thought of last night.

"You don't need to thank me." He says in honesty "I think the pleasure was on both of us."

She chuckles "Indeed."

"How are you feeling?" He asks as he sits down next to her, his hand grabbing hers that's not holding onto the coffee cup.

"Hmm, good." She says as she swallows her first sip.

"Good." He replies, smiling.

After taking another sip, Kate looks at him "Can I ask something?"

"Of course" Castle chuckles.

"Would you- can we go to the Hamptons for the day? I just, I kind of had a dream about us being there and it's just really all I need right now, after yesterday I could really use the relaxation."

"A dream, huh?" Castle chuckles, raising his eyebrows at her.

She scoffs "Yes, a dream, Castle."

"And what exactly did we do, in that dream." Castle asks curiously, or rather teasingly.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Kate teases back, smiling as she takes another sip of her coffee.

"Well maybe you could show me once we're there." Castle suggest, standing up.

"So we're going?" Kate asks, following him with her eyes as he walks over to the closet.

"Sure thing, let's do it!" Castle says, already grabbing his swim trunks.

She smiles. Yes, this is what she needs. Away from this place. Away to a private house, a private beach. To be alone, to be able to relax without the thought of what happened yesterday. Just her, lying in the sun, swimming in the beautiful ocean, relaxing. With him. Good.

Very good.

* * *

_**So my inspiration seems to be nice to me – I thought this would be the last chapter. But hey, who doesn't like fluffiness in the Hamptons, am I right? Maybe I'll even make another M-rated chapter for it heh, who knows. So I hope you liked this one! Review to tell me what you think! :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Fluffiness in the Hamptons, that's all I can say. Enjoy!**_

* * *

**You were with me the whole time: Part IIII**

The sun is out, the wind exactly the right temperature, not too hot and not too cold. The sun is nice and hot as it floats in the bright blue sky. The wind makes it so incredibly nice, washing away the hotness of the sun on her skin every now and then. Her feet are planted on the warm sand, the waves of the sea coming back every now and then to wash over them, the feet sinking more and more into the sand. It feels like standing in quicksand, the mixture of sand and water slowly but surely eating them up. The water looks beautiful, so blue. Blue like his eyes. Oh, the way she can drown in them. So beautiful and bright blue.

She smiles, looking over the sea, into the sky, enjoying the sun as it warms her body. Her hands are fiddling with a seashell she found not too long ago, until she stopped at this exact place to stand and revel in this moment. Her eyes close, a smile spreading across her face as she feels something brushing against her sides, coming around her waist. _Him_. Hands fold against her stomach, fingers lacing together and settling there. She feels his lips on the skin between her neck and her shoulder, lips gently placed on it, kissing up and up until they reach her ear and then let go. His chin settles on her shoulder, his front fully connecting to her back.

She relaxes into him, her shoulders letting go of all the tension, a sigh leaving her lips as her head lulls to the side and connects with his. Her hands gently brush over his, having let go of the seashell, her fingers entwining with his on her stomach. How did she ever deserve a thing like this? This, right here, is the best feeling she's had in a long time. And it's all because of him. He makes her feel loved, makes her feel safe. She feels his lips again, this time on her cheek and her eyes open, moving to the side and they connect with his. It's truly like looking into the ocean, the beautiful blue sea actually mirroring inside his eyes, making for an even more beautiful view.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Castle says, smiling as his hands disconnect from her stomach, hanging down with their fingers still entwined as he comes to stand next to her.

"Hmm nothing, just thinking." Kate smiles and sighs, her body turning so she's now standing in front of him.

"Thinking's not nothing." Castle says, chuckling lightly.

"It's just- it's really great to be out here. I needed this."

"We can come here any time Kate, this place is yours too now."

She smiles at the thought. They're getting _married_. They're going to be husband and wife soon. She still can't believe it. They've come so far, and it's all actually happening. She's going to be wearing a gorgeous wedding dress, and she's going to walk down that aisle and meet him. And they're going to make promises to each other, vow to love each other until the end of their days. _Always_. And she wouldn't have it any other way. She's _so_ ready. Ready to spend the rest of her life with this man, soon with a promise placed tightly around her ring finger, for the rest of their lives.

The thought makes her blush, her cheeks reddening, butterflies erupting in her stomach. She has to think back to when they first met. Oh, how frustrated she was. How much she did _not_ need a 9-year-old following her on her cases, poking into things he shouldn't be poking into. She once said to him she was a one-and-done kind of type. Never did she imagine that her one-and-done was actually the one she said it to. Never did she imagine that that man is now the one standing in front of her, looking at her with pure love beaming from his eyes, shining through the beautiful bright blue color. Never did she know her stomach would turn every time he looked at her like that. The love and deep connection she feels for him rushing through her veins. Never did she imagine that, since the moment they met, it has always been _him_.

"What?" Castle asks curiously with a chuckle, probably having noticed her blush creeping upon her cheeks.

"I just- I never thought that the 9-year-old on a sugar rush would be standing in front of me now, a wedding awaiting in the near future." Kate says as she looks down in shyness, smiling.

"I know right. But I knew I'd win you over."

Kate scoffs "Right."

"Truly. I knew it would be a matter of time before you fell for my ruggedly handsomeness and my charms."

"Please." Kate scoffs again, but her smile contradicts how she meant to say those words.

"No you can't deny it, Kate."

"I am."

"We've been over this before."

"Yes we have, and I still did not fell for you the first moment I saw you."

"Yeah you did."

"No I didn't!" She laughs.

She tries to walk away, but his hand is still entwined with hers and he pulls her back "Come here," Castle laughs, their lips immediately connecting once she falls back into him.

Her hand let's go of his and goes up, coming around his neck to brush her fingers through the hair at the nape of it. She sighs contently into the kiss, her lips gently moving over his, her other hand lying gently on his shoulder from behind. His hand is cradling her cheek as they continue to kiss so sweetly, and a tiny moan releases out of her at this amazing feeling. _How can she ever live without this_? Without _him_? His thumb brushes against her cheek, sending warmth through her veins and she smiles into the kiss, not wanting to let this go, ever.

Eventually their lips do part, their foreheads connecting as they both smile.

"You still can't tell me otherwise."

"It's still not true."

"It really is though."

"Is not."

"Is too!"

"Not!" Kate laughs and she walks back, her hand holding onto his as she walks back further. "Let's go swim."

Castle's face lights up and she knows it even before he says it "Naked?"

"Not me." Kate teases "But maybe later."

"I'll hold you to that." Castle says, his mind already imagining it from the way his eyes become unfocused.

"Mind out of the gutter, writer boy." Kate teases, turning around to walk back to the house. Of course he's following her like a puppy.

"Writer man!" He shouts just before she steps inside, laughing.

He finds her in the bedroom, changed down into her underwear and he can't resist but attack her with a very inappropriate kiss while his hands roam her body. Her mind is foggy and she moans against his lips, kissing him back just as passionately. When she finally finds her strength after a few minutes – or ten – she pushes him back, promising him they'll get back to that later. He whines but lets it go, looking at the extra wiggle she puts into her hips as she walks away.

After he's changed, he walks outside and sees her standing in the sand again, walks to her and kisses her shoulder. She smiles, turning around and kisses him, lips firmly planted on his and then she pulls back, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into the water with a grin. They decide on a nice swim and go as far as they can get. Once they're going she hears him shout "Race you!" and laughs, picking up speed.

Of course, she wins.

They stop swimming and he pouts, whining "Not fair."

She laughs and swims to him, her arms coming around him and she plants kisses on his face until his pout has turned into a smile and he captures her lips, kissing her back fully. Her legs come around his hips and she crosses her ankles behind his back, her tongue coming out to explore, stroking against his as her fingers stroke through his wet hair.

Air becomes a necessity and they part, deciding to swim back to shore. Once there, they sit down on the sand, the waves of the ocean brushing against them every time it comes back. Kate closes her eyes, her face turned to the sky and enjoys the warmth of the sun shining down on her. This day has been so perfect, she could _not_ be happier. She never used to giggle and cling to anyone, but with him? She feels free. She feels she can do anything. She loves him so incredibly much and she intends on letting herself go. So if she feels like giggling, she giggles. And when she feels like clinging to him, she'll put her arms around him, kiss him and never let him go. No matter how sappy it all is.

Thinking back to their conversation earlier about how they'd gone from oh so many years ago to this, a question appears in her mind.

"When did you actually fall in love with me?" Kate asks curiously, her eyes searching his.

She sees him thinking, gives him the time to do so, her hand sweetly joining his on the sand, fingers entangling as she smiles and waits him out.

"I don't think there is an exact moment. I think it was more a matter of time. I was so intrigued by you, never knew that I would get to know this amazing stuff about you. The more and more I got to know you – the real you, the layers of you – the more my heart was in this. I do remember that kiss-"

"The 'that was amazing' was totally about the kiss, don't deny it." She interrupts.

He chuckles "Might have been," he says squeezing her fingers "But anyway, I recall that I had a conversation with my mother during that time. And I admitted to her that- it wasn't about the books anymore. From that moment on I really did know. And boy, after sharing that kiss with you, I was completely blown away. I knew that I couldn't let you go, not anymore. I had to have more of that."

She sighs, leaning in and brushes her lips against his. Once. Twice. Three times, and sits back.

"What about you? _In all fairness_, when did you fall in love with me?" He smiles.

Kate laughs "Ha! Finally! He let's go of the 'first moment you saw me' stuff!" She says victoriously.

"No no- I still believe that. But since you're still not admitting to that, I'd like to hear your story."

"Mmhmm." She says in disbelief, rolls her eyes.

"Truly!" He exclaims and she chuckles.

"Truth is – my feelings for you really started that Summer before you went to the Hamptons. I'd always suppressed them, I didn't really give them any room to come out, denied it fully. But then, Esposito came to me and set me straight. Told me that you weren't hanging around for the books, that you knew so much about me that you didn't need to stick around anymore, yet you did, that it was more than just that. For both of us. I- I decided I wanted to give it a try. But then you showed up with Gina and things went kinda south." She still remembers that moment, and she also realizes that she's never told him before, her eyes connecting with his to see what this new information does to him.

She sees his face fall, realizing what she's talking about. His mouth opens, but before he can respond she continues.

"But it wasn't our time, Castle. I know that, and I'm sure you do too. Anyway, after the Summer when you came back and I saw you again I- those feelings never ceased. From then on I knew that I had feelings for you. But to say the moment I truly fell in love with you? It's the same for me, just a matter of time. I suppressed my feelings for so long, denied them so hard that I didn't actually get a chance to really feel _when_ I fell in love with you. But after Josh and I broke up, I worked my way to you, I tried my best."

"And here we are."

"And here we are." She repeats, smiling.

"I'm glad things turned out the way they did." Castle admits.

"Me too." She sighs.

"I think it's time for dinner." Castle says as he stands up, extending his hand for her. She takes it gladly, using it as leverage to stand up herself, dropping a sweet kiss on his lips before they walk back to the house.

"Maybe after dinner we can finally skinny dip!" Castle says excitingly and she rolls her eyes.

Although, _maybe_ it's not such a bad idea, since the last time they were interrupted by that dead body. Hmm, maybe not a bad idea at all.

She closes the back door with a smirk.

* * *

**THE END.  
**

* * *

_**Soooo I am honestly conflicted. There isn't much more to this story that I can tell, so I did want to end it after their Hamptons day (I mean, they go back to work after so that isn't relevant to the thought behind this story). Mind you, if you guys want, I will definitely consider writing an M-rated chapter of them skinny dipping (and more hello) to end things off. So that is all up to you! Let me know! As for now- this story has sadly come to an end!**_

_**Please review and let me know what you've thought of this story. Thank you all so much for reading and for all the amazing reviews that I've received for this. You're all the best!**_

_**Much love!  
Susanne**_


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